New Year’s Goals

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I have set New Year’s Resolutions for years.  Most of the time the resolutions have been about losing weight or being more productive in certain areas of my life.  Even though these things are important, I would ignore them or break them after just a few weeks or even a few days.  This year I am seeking to do things a little differently.  While participating in Michael Hyatt’s Best Year Ever, I have decided to work on some goals that would be meaningful to Directed Path Ministries as well as to me and Lisa as well.  I would like to share with you some of those goals that are related to the ministry.

Goals

  1. Write at least 2 blogs per week.  I believe that this goal will help me in my discipline of writing and challenge me in my study of ministry.  (Several months I will be participating in a blog challenge that will cause me to blog daily.)
  2. Write an e-book.  I have an outline for that book already.  I am looking into the format that will be the best way to publish that book. 
  3. Develop a Do-It-Yourself Marriage Counseling Video package.  This product will be to help couples work through some of the minor issues in their relationships.  Prayerfully it will help foster marriage health.
  4. Read a new marriage book every month.  This goal is one that will be a true challenge for me as I am also reading for my next degree.  Reading has been very trying for me most of my life.  I do believe that this goal will help me in all areas of this ministry.

I know putting these in writing is very daring on my part as it will hold me accountable.  Let’s make 2015 the Best Year Ever.

Brad 2014Bradley D. Watson, BCBT

Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Develop The Life and Marriage You Desire

Five Steps To Enhance Your Married Sex Life

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CMBA_challenge_14 (1)The CMBA Challenge for October included Words of Wisdom from different sources each week…Family, Bible, Friends, & Books or Blogs.

This week being Books or Blogs has been difficult for me to decide which book I wanted to reference.  I have read so many books on marriage over the years and each one has merit and has added value to my marriage.  After what seemed to be a long time of consideration, I have chosen a book that I have not ever seen in a book store.  I had the privilege of hearing the author speak at an AACC World Conference several years ago and I have been recommending the book ever since.  The book is Sacred Sex by Tim Gardner.  He explains in the introduction of the book, “If you’re looking for a new erogenous zone, a medical breakthrough for prolonging orgasm, or a way to have fabulous sex every time the notion crosses your mind, you have the wrong book.”  There are many books that help with some of those topics.  The Generous Husband references one of those books in his blog Monday.

I believe the purpose of Sacred Sex is found in this paragraph:  “God designed marital sex to be an encounter with the divine. Sexual intimacy, with all of its overwhelming emotions and heart-pounding sensations, was never intended to be experienced solely in the emotional and physical realms. Rather, it is to be a spiritual, even mystical, experience in which two bodies become one. God is present in a very real way every time this happens.”

Marriage BedToo many times, we bring all of our unholy experiences and beliefs about sex into our marriage. Satan has tricked us in believing his lies about the sexual relationship.  We act on those lies. Therefore, we have an extremely difficult time removing that baggage from our minds and allowing God to transform us into the Garden experience…”naked and unashamed.”

To begin moving toward the intention God had for the sexual relationship between a husband and wife, we need to…

  1. Ask God to forgive us of our sexual sins in the past.  Be honest with God about your past.  He knows everything already.  He is asking you to agree with Him that any sexual experience outside of marriage was a sin.  He wants to cleanse you from that unrighteousness and make you whole.  Confession is a must!
  2. Forgive yourself for your sexual past.  Included in us forgiving ourselves is receiving God’s forgiveness.  Too many times we allow our sin and our past to define us as people.  God wants to define us through Christ and His righteousness, not our unrighteousness.  Forgiving yourself also means that you release the guilt of your past.  Again, seek to see yourself as God sees you.
  3. Confess to your spouse.  Yes, I believe that you need to share with your spouse about your sexual experience before marriage.  No, I do not believe you need to share all the “gory” details.  I am referring to being honest and not hiding anything.
  4. Seek forgiveness from your spouse for any inappropriate sexual experiences before marriage between the two of you.  Even if you are engaged to be married, sex before marriage is wrong.  Confess this to God and to each other.  Forgive each other and receive God’s forgiveness.
  5. Pray about your sexual lives together.  Realize that God intends your sexual union to be holy.  He makes it holy.  Invite Him into your bedroom.  You invite Him into other aspects of your marriage, why not the sexual union?  I know that this sounds weird and maybe even perverted.  I assure you that God will be pleased that you are wanting your physical intimacy to be pleasing to Him as well as to each other.Couples Praying

Following these five steps will enhance your sexual relationship and deepen your intimacy throughout your marriage .What book or blogs have you read that have brought value to your marriage?

Brad 2014

Bradley D. Watson, BCBT
Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Develop The Life and Marriage You Desire

Understanding Your Wife

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Many days in my counseling ministry I hear about how women feel their husbands do not understand them. When I make a statement about what it means to understand their wives, usually the women cry because for the first time in a long time they feel they are heard and understood. Now I’m not bragging because I am not the best husband or the best counselor. I have to admit that God gives me discernment and wisdom as I ask for them. I have to give Him the credit for,what happens in my office because without Him I couldn’t do what I do. This blog is not about how I counsel, but rather how men are supposed to understand their wives. How do men understand their wives when there are several differences in how we are created? You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 NASB) The Bible tells us to understand our wives, which seems to be an impossible task when women do not understand everything about themselves. The word that is translated understanding deals with the idea of being considerate and sensitive of their deepest physical and emotional needs. When I talk about emotional needs, I lose a lot of men because men have a very difficult time with emotions. The only emotion many men know is anger and they express that in inappropriate ways. That’s another subject for another day. Women function through their emotions mostly. They desire their man to care with them about the same things. I do not ask men to have the same emotion as their wives but I do ask men to care about their wives. Now how do we do this? We ask questions. These questions need to focus on how our wives feel. Men think analytically and not emotionally. It is a challenge for us to even ask about emotions. When she begins to talk about her emotions, we can begin to tune out. When we tune out, we tell our wives that we don’t care about them. Is it OK for your wife to cry and you not understand why she’s crying? Or do you tell her that she doesn’t have any reason to cry? What do you think she hears by that? The main thing she hears is that she is not cared about. Another way we can show our wives we understand them is by making sure we show them consideration. When they ask us to do something or not do something, we need to pay attention to their requests. I was told by a wife that her husband always tells her that she over-reacts to what he watches on TV. He is always watching shows that show scantily clothed women and it really makes his wife feel inadequate as a woman and a wife. She totally feels misunderstood. That conversation was so similar to others I have on a regular basis. Men, it is important that we show consideration to our wives desires and needs. When we learn how to do this, our relationship with our wives will improve greatly!

Capturing Your Thoughts

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2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (NASB)
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh,
4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,
6 and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete.

Have you ever considered how to take a thought captive?  For many of us, our thoughts seem to run rampant without any control what so ever.  I know that many people have told me that they just could not turn their thoughts off.  Once a person starts thinking about something or worrying about something, it appears to be impossible to stop the flood of negative thoughts.  There are times that flood of negative thoughts overtakes by mind and submerges everything I know to be true in Christ.  So as I write this, I am not saying that I have complete control of my thoughts or that I never sin in my thoughts.  What I want to present is the principle of taking our thoughts captive and honoring God with them.

Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions.  Those three aspects of a person are what God wants to develop into our character while Satan wants to tear us down at the same time.  All temptation fits in these three areas.  We might understand it better if we quote 1 John 2:16 (NASB)
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

You see Satan wants to use the world system to keep us from living in the Freedom that God offers us through Christ Jesus.

So if we understand this principle and the significance of how Satan tempts us through what we think, what we do, and how we feel, it is vitally important that we grasp the concept of capturing our thoughts toward the obedience of Christ.

How do we accomplish this feat?  We are bombarded with images, words, and ideas all day long.  Are we careful to make sure that we listen to music that is edifying and not negative or down right sinful?  I know that I do not listen to a lot of music while I’m in my car. (I listen to sports talk radio, mostly.)  But when I do listen to music, I listen to Christian music.  In my office, I have Christian music playing all day.  I find it to be refreshing and edifying for me as well as whomever comes in through out the day.

The second area that is very important is what do we watch on the television.  I am not trying to tell you that I do not watch TV, because that would be a lie.  I am not trying to tell you what shows to watch, because that would be presumptuous.  I am telling you that what you watch on TV can create images in your mind that keep you from living in freedom.  If you are watching shows that are violent or full of sexual innuendo or degrading to Christians, you might have a difficult time believing the truth of who God wants you to be.

Another area that I want to address today is the area of conversation.  How do you speak to people and how do they speak to you?   If people close to you are always putting you down, then you will have a very difficult time believing the truth of God’s Word.  It is important for us to realize how important our words are to others.  Proverbs 18:21 (NASB)
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.  Our family hears what we say, and it can create deep wounds in their soul as well as in their spirit if we are not careful.  We need to be diligent in being encouragers for the people around us daily.

Finally, we truly need to concentrate on scripture.  Many of the verses that I have memorized, I memorized as a young boy in Sunday School, Discipleship Training, or Vacation Bible School.  I believe we need to continue to work on learning new scriptures and allowing those scriptures to transform for hearts along with our minds, which can change our actions.

When you think about it, capturing our thoughts include preparing ourselves to live a Godly life as well as practicing daily.  If we don’t practice, we will not be very good at it and then we will not be able to live victoriously.

Summary of Real Marriage

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I am always looking at books on marriage to read and evaluate for use in my ministry. There are so many good books out there on marriage and more are being written seems like every day. The last book that I read was Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll. What a book! I realize that many people have written comments about the book, some have been very positive while others have not been. I decided to read the book with an open mind so that I could truly hear what I needed to hear while I read the book. Even though I did not agree with everything the Driscolls said in the book, the main points on marriage, friendship, romance and the sexual relationship are points that I can totally agree.
The emphasis of Real Marriage is the relationship and the work that relationship takes for a marriage to be successful. We live in a day and time when marriages fail all the time, therefore it is time that pastors make the effort to teach some very practical applications to scripture in the areas of life that impact a marriage greatly. Mark and Grace do just that. I think that one area of the book that truly will help couples is the chapter on friendship. Too many times the husband or the wife or both do not include the other in their recreational activities. Most couples do not have a great deal of time to spend together and then they add stress to their relationship by not recreating together. Now I do not believe that the couple should spend every spare minute together, but if you do not spend time together recreationally the friendship within the marriage will falter. When that happens, the marriage begins to falter. It is true that the husband needs to have guy friends and the wife needs to have girl friends. But the best friend needs to be each other. I remember several years hearing John Maxwell talk about how he told one of his golfing buddies that he could not play gold on a certain day because he was going to an art museum. The buddy replied “I didn’t know you were into art.” Maxwell then said, “I’m not but my wife is and I’m into my wife.” I can personally vouch for the fact a museum can be fun when you go with you wife. I thought that the chapters of the book on the man’s role in the relationship and the woman’s role were very well written and concise with biblical principles to use in the marriage. I believe that when men and women understand the biblical role set out before them, their marriage relationship will improve immensely. Our society has so devalued the differences in gender and blurred the lines so much that we have lost sight of the fact that God created male and female in His image. Each gender reflects the nature of God and when put together, they reveal the image which God intended from the very beginning.

I thought that I might share some of my thoughts about what I disagreed with but I realized that it might detract from the fact that I truly enjoyed reading the book and agreed with the majority of it. I have read some of the scathing reviews of the book. I guess that I did not read this book with the same attitude of others, because I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a good book to read for some very practical help in their marriage. I will let you determine if the book is worth recommending to others.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.  Eph. 5:33

Hearing the Voice of God

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I have been reading The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus which is an excellent book.  I realize that it was written a few years ago, but I just got a copy from a local bookstore to read with my son as a discipleship tool.  I was hoping that God would use the book in his life to help him in his walk with the Lord.  God allowed me to think that I was getting the book for him…HA!  God wanted me to read the book to challenge me in so many areas of my life it is not even funny.  God is like that, isn’t He?  He leads you to help someone else, all the while wanting to teach you something new or to convict you of sin in your own life or even to cause you to move in a new direction.

The one area that truly captured my attention while reading Dr. McManus’ book was a discussion that he had with his son about hearing the voice of God.  The reason this passage of the book caught my attention is that so many people have asked me about this subject over the years in counseling or just in the ministry.

This past weekend in our Bible study class, we read a passage in Mark where God spoke audibly about Jesus to Peter, James, and John.  I know that Moses spent forty days on top of Mount Sinai conversing with God the entire time.  Adam and Eve had the privilege of communing with God in the Garden each day.  Abraham had strict instructions from God on several occasions, which I believe came from audible conversations.  In the Old Testament, it seems that God spoke audibly where now He doesn’t.  But the major difference is that we have the Holy Spirit residing in us, while the Spirit of God rested on people during the days before Christ’s ascension and the giving of the Holy Spirit on the Day of Pentecost.  The dynamics of our relationships with God are different in our day that in the Old Testament days.  Yet, the author of Hebrews quotes David from the Book of Psalms by saying, “Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.”  He actually uses the quote twice in two different chapters, so the principle of hearing God’s voice must be as important for us as it was for the Biblical heroes of our faith.

So how do we hear the voice of God?  Is there a magical formula that must be followed?  What if we do the same thing that we had done the last time we heard God’s voice, but we do not hear it this time?

Hearing God’s voice comes from having an intimate relationship with God on a daily basis.  God speaks to us through His word as well as through other believers along with some circumstances.  God primarily speaks through His Spirit which resides in us using, as Dr. McManus describes, a voice that sounds much like our own.  God’s instruction will always line up with the truth of His Word and the principles of who He is.  God can never contradict Himself.  God is speaking to us.  Are we listening?  When we begin to ignore the Voice of God is when our hearts begin to harden.  I pray that today you have a soft, pliable heart for God to speak to and then to use.

Psalms 95:7-9 (NASB)
7 For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand. Today, if you would hear His voice,
8 Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, As in the day of Massah in the wilderness,
9 “When your fathers tested Me, They tried Me, though they had seen My work.

Primal Book Review

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I just read Mark Batterson’s newest book, Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity.  What a convicting book!!!  The author takes an in-depth look at the Great Commandment and how we as Christians should respond to God by truly loving Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies.  Reading each chapter just added to the tug on my heart to make some serious changes in the way I live my life.  I am afraid that even though I have said on many occasions that I love God with everything, I do not live with the zeal that the Great Commandment carries.

Many times we think of living the Christian life from an abstract paradigm.  Batterson defines the concept of living a faith life with “Faith equals God-ordained risks in the face of fear.  Obedience equals God-honoring decisions in the face of temptation.  And compassion equals Spirit-prompted generosity in the face of greed.” (pg. 32)  When I read that statement, I have to be honest, I felt very small in my Christian commitment.  I am one that attempts to rationalize what I do for God.  I put the pencil to the paper with my budget in order to know how much I can give to God.  I have struggled with the idea of completely walking by faith in my life, rather that be in my financial life, my professional life, or my private life.  Living with the concept of complete surrender of my heart at times has created a sense of fear.  I thank God that He has provided this book for me to read so that I can see myself on the pages.  God has used this book to help me evaluate the level of love that I have for God in all areas of my life.

All through Primal, the author challenges his readers with the idea that our hearts should break for the same things that God’s heart breaks, we should be elated for the same things that causes God to be elated, we should concentrate on knowing God and the things of God, and we should be doing the things that God is doing.  Love for God is our response to the love that He has given to us.  “In and of ourselves, we’re not capable of loving God.  We cannot manufacture love for Him…Religion is all about doing things for God.  Christianity is all about receiving what Christ has done for us on the cross.  And what we do for God is a reflection of and response to what God has done for us.” (pg. 155)  While the author is teaching us these concepts, he desires that they will lead us to a new reformation of truly loving God and not just saying that we love Him.

Primal is an easy book to read.  I felt like I was part of the flow of the book from the very first page.  Mark Batterson is very creative in his writing style and carries his readers on the journey he is embarking on while communicating very timely and convicting truths.

I would recommend you get your copy @ www.randomhouse.com

Mark 12:30 (NASB)
30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart , and with all your soul , and with all your mind, and with all your strength .’

It’s Christmas Time

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It is Christmas Time!!!  There are lights and decorations up around the neighborhoods.  There are special performances at the schools and around the communities.  The shopping mall parking lots are full and the streets around the shopping centers are crowded.  People are becoming more and more anxious about getting everything done for that special party at their home or trying to get that one and final gift for that someone special.  Christmas: the time of giving and receiving; the time of writing cards and singing carols; the time we thing about some people that we have not thought of all year; the time of wishing that someone would give us that one special thing that we have been eyeing most of the past year.  Christmas is a time where children are full of laughter and joy.  They can’t wait to see what they will receive on that morning after writing their letters to the North Pole and making out their wish lists.  Don’t you just love the sights and sounds of Christmas?  Some of the radio stations play 24 hours of carols while the Salvation Army Bell Ringers are in front of almost every store.  I believe more cookies, cakes, pies, and home-made candies are made throughout the month of December.  Just writing this makes my mouth water.  My heart beat begins to race as I think that I have not finished my shopping just yet.  Can I get it done?  Maybe by December 24th.  Christmas time is very exciting.

Christmas can also be very stressful as we attempt to get all the shopping done, the decorations up and the cooking done as well as attend the parties and performances that we have been invited to.  Many people have to travel a great deal during the weeks around Christmas to see family and friends that live in different places.  Money begins to  run short while the credit card bills begin to mount.  Christmas, isn’t it exciting?

Now, please do not get me wrong.  I love Christmas with all the sights and sounds as well as smells.  I love giving and receiving.  I love caroling and traveling to see my family.  I would like to give you a couple of suggestions to help during these days.

  • Set a budget of how much money you can afford to spend at Christmas.
  • Set a budget of how you are going to spend your time during the holidays.
  • Put your family first.  There can be so many distractions that we forget the main people that are important to us.
  • Emphasize what you want your family to remember about this Christmas.

I realize that I am late sharing this information with you.  Obviously, I have either been caught up not taking my own advice or I have let the whole holiday season slip up on me.  I think both of these might be true.  But let me share one more thought with you today.  In order to go through these holidays with the proper perspective, you must have the right focus.  Christmas is not about all the festivities primarily.  Christmas is not about the gift giving.  Christmas is not even about family per se.  CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT THE BIRTH OF JESUS OUR LORD! You see when we truly focus on the true meaning of Christmas, we will be able to walk through the days (maybe have to run some) with the peace in our hearts and the assurance in our lives that we will have a very good Christmas.

Isaiah 9:6 (NASB)
6 For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.

Merry Christmas and May God Bless You Richly

Purpose Statement

I provide Biblical Counseling for:
  • People who are hurting in their marriages and families.
  • People who are hurting emotionally and spiritually.
  • People who are seeking freedom from the bondage in their lives.

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Location & Phone Number

5411 PLAZA DR STE G
TEXARKANA, TX 75503
PHONE: (903) 244-5150


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