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Relieving Holiday Stress

November 14, 2014 By bwatson Leave a Comment

Originally posted Nov. 15, 2102.  Good reminders for the upcoming holiday season.

Thanksgiving TurkeyThe holiday season is upon us. With it comes parties and gatherings along with travel and gift giving. Wow! So much to think about and so much to do. How do we handle the stress of the holidays? How do we manage to juggle the different needs and desires that come along with what is supposed to be The Most Wonderful Time of The Year?

Many people do not look forward to the holidays because of the painful memories that are associated with this time of year: divorces, deaths of loved ones, past hurts, etc. Many people have fears of what the holidays might bring. Because of the seasonal times, many people are depressed during the holidays. All of these issues can bring added stress to the holidays. So again, let me ask, “How do we handle the stress of the holidays?”

I have a few suggestions that might help you as you think about the upcoming events that can crowd our calendars.

1.  Make a plan. Sit down with your family with a calendar and talk about the upcoming events. Prioritize the events as:

  • Mandatory
  • Best if attend
  • Good if attend
  • Want to attend but not important
  • Don’t need to attend

Now you might think that everything is mandatory for you to attend. I admit that family events are very important, but sometimes hard decisions need to be made for what is the most important concerning your needs for the time. If your calendar is too crowded with events over the holidays, you can feel overwhelmed and stressed which will cause a great deal of problems for you and you will not enjoy the season at all.

2.  Make a budget. Again, sit down with you family and talk about what you can afford. Many people spend more money during this time of the year then they do any other time. Many people go into debt over Christmas, which creates many more problems in the future. Some questions that need to be answered:

  • Can we afford to travel?
  • What can we afford to purchase for each person that we buy for?
  • Can we afford to bring gifts to every party?
  • How can we do what we want to do without borrowing money?

ChristmasI know that I am asking difficult questions. I know that I ask hard questions. Some of you might think that they are unrealistic and that is fine. Everyone chooses to celebrate the holidays in a way that they want, many times without consideration of how it is affecting their family and their relationships with others much less how it will affect their finances.

3. Communicate your plan. Tell your extended family and your friends what you will be doing during the holidays. Tell them the truth about the decisions you have made. Most of the time, family and friends will understand your decisions when they are communicated properly.

I know that so much is expected during the holidays. There are family parties, work parties, school events, along with church gatherings. I know that everyone wants to do everything, go everywhere, and give as much as possible. I am giving you some suggestions to help you eliminate as much stress as possible during them. When the stress levels are down, the enjoyment levels are much higher.

Brad 2014

Bradley D. Watson, BCBT
Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Develop The Life and Marriage You Desire

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Heroes

October 3, 2014 By bwatson Leave a Comment

Originally Posted December 1, 2009

Heroes.  When we were children, we had people or characters that we would idolize and fantasize about being when we reached adulthood.  As a boy, I loved watching Batman and Superman.  I would climb trees and jump out of those trees wanting to fly like Superman.  If I could sneak a cape into the trees I would.  I just knew that I could fly with my cape on.  My mom would be watching though and keep me from wearing a cape into the trees.  I never flew while jumping out of trees.  Gravity always took over and brought me to the ground.  Fortunately, I did not jump out head first.  I did jump out feet first just in case I did not fly that specific time.  I did not want to land on my head.  Of course I knew that I could not fly, but I wanted to be Superman just the same.  Oh If I could fly faster than a speeding bullet and have x-ray vision and do all the fantastic things that Clark Kent did once he changed into his special uniform.  What dreams we had as kids.

I remRoger Staubachember watching Roger Staubach in the early 70’s and then running outside to play football.  I always wanted to be the quarterback and have that #12 on my jersey.  In the winter, I would watch Jerry West play basketball for the Lakers and then I would go play basketball and practice my crossover dribble on the baseline.  I wanted to be like either one of those guys…great at their sport.  Both were icons in their heyday.  Matter of fact, the NBA’s icon today is fashioned fromJerry West Jerry West’s image.  What an honor to be recognized by your sport to have your image to be their logo!  These two men were my heroes from sports.

As I grew older, I began to realize that I would never be any of my heroes.  I was not secretly Superman or even Batman.  I also learned that I would not become the next Roger Staubach, especially since I did not play football, nor would I become the next Jerry West.  At times that realization brought some disappointments, but it was always fun to fantasize about that growing up.

Today, our children are not any different than we were.  They fantasize about being a special athlete or a super hero.  I was listening to the radio this morning and the talk show host was talking about how everyone that lives in the spot light has a lot to hide. The idea was that most men (athletes) cheat on their wives and participate in some sort of scandalous behavior.  He went on to say how the men from the past decades were not any different than the men in this decade.  The only difference is that the media pays closer attention and scandals sell.  All of these statements are true.  At least from where the talk show host is sitting.

I looked up the past of the two men I mentioned earlier in this post.  Roger Staubach is still married to his first wife after more than 42 years.  He is now retired and looking forward to spending his twilight years with his wife, children, and most of all grandchildren.  I realize that Staubach is a unique person.  Jerry West’s past and present is not as stellar as Roger’s but seems to be better than most.  I am looking at some of the current “heroes” and some of them are worthy of hero status while others might excel in their sports or their businesses but other aspects of their lives fall very short of being admired.  There are two current college quarterbacks that have the potential of having a great impact on the world in the future.  One is already very committed to carrying out steps to increase his impact along the way.

What is it about wanting heroes?  Why do we desire to look up to someone and want to be just like them as we grow up?  There is a desire in each one of us to be successful.  We choose people in activities that we enjoy watching or participating in.  Most of the time as we choose our “heroes,” we look at the wrong standards.  We look at the world’s standards and then the financial impact they have (more or less how much they make).  While all the while we need to be looking at standards much more reliable than those.  What is important to us?

  • Do we want to make a lot of money?  Or do we want to live in joy and contentment with our families?
  • Do we want to seek our own happiness?  Or do we want to see our children succeed and be fulfilled?
  • Do we want to live for the here and now?  Or do we want to have a future and a hope?

Our heroes are an important part of our growing up.  Why we admire someone can cause us to emphasize different aspects of our lives.  I would encourage each of us to look beyond what we see on the field or on the screen for who we admire.  Look at the whole individual.

1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

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Bradley D. Watson, BCBT
Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Develop The Life and Marriage You Desire

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