When the article came out that Vice-President Pence would only eat meals alone with his wife, there has been a firestorm of responses to how unrealistic and even archaic this practice is (Billy Graham had even more strict safeguards in place). Some people have expressed that because of their jobs it was impossible to get away from being alone with someone of the opposite sex for a meal at times. Some people have expressed that they have close friends that are people of the opposite sex that they enjoy a meal with from time to time. Others stated that the “rule” would not stop someone from having an affair with the avenues of communication that social media provides. A simple meal would not be the problem.
I read so many other responses that agreed with the practice. These people felt that VP Pence was honoring his wife along with his marriage and was setting a good example. Some expressed a desire to continue the same practice in their marriages – Not because there is not trust between the spouses, but rather to continue to build their marriage.
Questions for Safeguards
- What is your view of marriage? Are you two individuals with two separate lives living in the same house that connect in just certain areas? Are you two working on becoming one, honoring each other and glorifying God while reflecting His love to everyone around you? Are you somewhere in between?
- Do your closest friends have the same view of marriage that you do? When you talk about marriage, is there a similar value system present? Do you feel supported in your stance? Do you feel that you are always trying to defend yourself?
- Do your closest friends value YOUR marriage? Brad, didn’t you just ask that question in #2? NO because some people might sound like they support marriage but at the same time might be trying to sabotage your marriage.
- When you are with someone of the opposite sex, is your conversation honoring to your spouse? Would you mind if your spouse heard the conversation? Are you building your spouse up? Are you talking about how much you love your spouse and you are committed to marriage? Have you ever complained about your marriage?
Obviously these questions are not exhaustive but they are a good place to start when setting safeguards in your life to protect your marriage. Marriage is designed by God to glorify Him by showing unconditional love, forgiveness, and mercy between two people that creates a family built on a covenant that reflects His unconditional love that leads to our covenantal relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. Marriage is to make us holy in all that we do. I believe that these safeguards can help lead us toward that.
What questions would you ask to develop safeguards for your marriage?
What so many people think is that affairs happen only when two people actively seek them. I don’t believe that is the case. I know my husband’s and my relationship did not start physically. We actually didn’t kiss on the lips until our wedding day. But we were emotionally and spiritually intimate with each other. We became friends first and built our relationship from there. So, we safeguard our marriage: both physically and emotionally. He is my best friend, and I would never want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship.
All it takes is a spark for an affair to happen. The thought that, maybe he pays more attention to me than my husband. Or, she really respects me more than my wife. And from there, just that simple thought, things can happen. And I know that those thoughts can arise in any situation. BUT, meals are very intimate. A lot more so than an office or board room.
Great thoughts. Thank you for your input. Your commitment to your marriage and your family is very refreshing.
It seems to me as a bit strange that not kissing each others lips is a way of safe guarding you for marriage.