Intimacy is a term that is used in our society to describe a sexual relationship. There is some truth with that idea, yet there is so much more involved in the term “Intimacy” that needs to be included in the definition. I would like to discuss one of the most important aspects of the term of intimacy.
As a Biblical counselor, I believe the most important aspect of intimacy in a marriage relationship is Spiritual Intimacy. As a couple, there needs to be a spiritual foundation to build the relationship on. I believe that a couple relate with one another in conjunction with how each relates with God. So lets look at this idea.
In order to build on this foundation, the first question that needs an answer is “Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?” A relationship with God through Jesus Christ is paramount in building your spiritual intimacy. After you ask this question of yourself, you need to ask it of your mate. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14
14 Do not be [a]bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Once we answer these questions, we need to move on to the next step. How important is this relationship to you? Does your relationship with The Lord control your thought processes as well as your actions? Now I know that every one might be on a different level than others. I am not suggesting that everyone needs to be on the same page. I am suggesting that spouses need to be on the same page. If one person is more in tune with what the Bible says than the other one can create problems between the couple.
The final question is how do you worship together? Do you have a prayer time together? Do you attend church together? Do you serve in the church together? Yes, I understand that I am a Baptist preacher and I might sound like one as I write this. Yet, it is important to follow the guidelines that God has placed in scriptures for us. God instituted marriage at the very beginning of creation. He continues to show the importance of marriages throughout scripture. Once we understand that God wants our marriages to be fulfilling and satisfying, it is easier to follow His instructions.
God loves you and He loves marriage. His plans for your marriage are for your fulfillment as a person. God desires for your marriage to give Him glory. When a couple is following these guidelines together, their level of intimacy goes deeper than those who do not place a priority on their spirituality.
We go to church together and my husband prays with me when I need it…but we struggle to do MORE than that. We’ve tried to do devotions together and they just drive us crazy. Maybe now that we have both changed and our marriage has been restored, we can try them again. We definitely need to do something more than sitting together watching our favorite shows.
Your Day 7 and my Day 7 had the same topic: spiritual intimacy. Very, very important and the foundation for all forms of intimacy! Thanks for sharing.
Amen! I agree and love it that my husband and I pray with/for each other. It is an area where we’ve grown but still looking to The Lord to grow deeper.
I think many of us would totally agree with you on this post (I do), but I know that there are many spouses who are already yoked to an unbeliever and this just isn’t going to happen. That is definitely a hard place to be without a common foundation.