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How God Is Using The 5 Levels of Leadership In My Life

October 14, 2015 By bwatson Leave a Comment

Book Cover

Reading The 5 Levels of Leadership, by John Maxwell, has challenged me to grow as a leader. I have had opportunities to be in leadership positions most of my adult life and I think that I have been stuck in some of the lower levels of leadership. I have seen the position that I held as the “pinnacle” and not the starting place. I have never really asked for permission to lead anyone nor have I earned that permission. I took my position as a leader to be the authority that allowed me to be the leader.

After reading the first few chapters of this book, I realized how wrong I have been!! I recognized that I needed to move from being a positional leader to becoming a people developing leader. These thoughts are becoming transforming. I am a counselor/coach. I cannot think that my position will carry any authority with others. It has to become about the value that I add to others because of who they are…not because of who I am. Even writing this is truly transformational.

The passage of scripture that kept coming to my mind as I was reading the book is:

Matthew 20:25-28 (NASB95)  25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. 26 “It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, 27 and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

I  don’t think that I have ever “lorded” over anyone. But I do think that I have lost the idea of truly serving others. I think that God is teaching me that I have to be a servant in order to truly lead others.

Some of the questions that I am asking about my relationships are:

  • Do I love this person? Loving someone is about looking beyond the outward appearance and looking at the person as God looks at them. For me to love my clients, I must be able to empathize with them and show them compassion. I must be able to see the potential of what God can do in their lives.
  • Do I see the value in this person? Along with loving the client, I have to be able to see their God-given value. Everyone is created by God to have a purpose in His Kingdom. As a coach, I need to be able to see that value, express it, and help the client visualize it as well.
  • How can I add to that value? The value that I add to a client has to line up with his God-given purpose. Does my talent or skill add to the person? Do I possess what the individual needs? The value that I add to the client should help him to accomplish the plans that God has for him.

Answering these questions will help me become a better coach and leader. I am thankful that God uses authors such as John Maxwell to challenge me in my walk with Him as well as in my profession.

Have you read this book? I would like to know what you think about it.

 

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Godly Men pt. 1

September 18, 2014 By bwatson 1 Comment

This post was originally published Sept. 22, 2009. 

Matthew 11:12 (AMP)
12 And from the days of John the Baptist until the present time, the kingdom of heaven has endured violent assault, and violent men seize it by force [as a precious prize—a share in the heavenly kingdom is sought with most ardent zeal and intense exertion].

James ArnessWe live in a day that has attempted to blur if not erase gender differences.  Our society is teaching us today that there should not be any noticeable distinctions between men and women, except maybe the obvious physical ones and even those are now being blurred.  We are being taught that the violence in our society is caused by little boys playing war games and fighting or “shooting” one another.  Parents are encouraged to help their boys be gentler and not so rough.  Have you ever noticed that boys are drawn to guns, swords, knives, bombs and the like?  Do you think they were taught that or is it something that is inherently given to them?  I remember as a small child, I loved to dress up like a cowboy with my six-shooter on my hip.  My mom would try to keep me out of the trees with my holster on, most of the time with no avail.  The other boys in the neighborhood would come over and we would throw those green china berries at each other or at any girl that would walk past.  At elementary school the boys would always gain up together and harass the girls in whatever they were doing.  Were we just mean?  Maybe.  We were just being boys and doing what boys did.

Think with me for a few moments.  Who are some of the movie heroes?  How about John Wayne, James Dean, Sean Connery or Clint Eastwood?  What made James Arness as Matt Dillon in Gunsmoke so popular?  OK, now I am showing my age.  New actors would have to include Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, or Bruce Willis in Die Hard.  How about Mel Gibson in BraveHeart or Vin Diesel in Fast and Furious?  Even Tom Hanks has played in roles that would qualify as being a hero (Saving Private Ryan and Castaway).  What made these roles and men qualify as heroes?  Some of these men have been considered to be very attractive to women, even deemed sexy.  Why?  They were MEN!!!  They were not pansies or momma’s boys.  They loved adventure.  They loved to fight.  And they always got the girl.  Every boy growingHarrison Ford up has those same desires.  Getting the girl comes later than the other two.

What happens to those characteristics in men?  Our jobs take the adventure from us.  Corporate etiquette takes the fight from us.  Therefore we get lazy and lose our masculinity.  Maybe not all of us, but many of us do.  Look at the American church today, it is filled with men who feel out of place or they are completely bored.  We are teaching men how to be sensitive, how to get in touch with their inner feelings or their feminine sides.  Did God give Adam a feminine side?  What about the heroes of the Bible?  Name some… Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Caleb, Elijah, David, and Daniel from the Old Testament, just to name a few.  The New Testament heroes would have to include John the Baptist, Peter, John, James and Paul and of course you have to name Jesus as He is the hero of all heroes.  Do you see any femininity in these men?  I don’t think so.  I see adventure, the desire to fight, and many wilderness experiences.  Moses spent 40 years in the palace, 40 years in the wilderness, and then 40 years being the leader God created him to be.  Jacob fought with the angel of the Lord, where?  In the wilderness.  Caleb at the age of 80 wanted to take his hill that was promised to him years prior.  Elijah looked like a mountain man as did John the Baptist.  John and his older brother James were called the Sons of Thunder.  One author said they would have had on leather jackets and racing stripes on their camels.  Today they would be in a motorcycle gang, according to the same author.  These men that are noted were true men of God.  They had their sense of adventure and willing to fight for the kingdom of God.

Are we willing to fight for the kingdom of God?  Is our relationship with God an adventure?  Or is it dull and boring?  The Christian man needs to learn to live his life for God with all the adventure that is in his heart.  Men need to stand up and be men.

Thoughts are generated from reading Wild at Heart.

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Bradley D. Watson, BCBT
Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Providing Hope in Troubled Times

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The Leader and His Marriage

June 26, 2014 By bwatson Leave a Comment

downloadHave you ever noticed how many leaders experience marital problems?  I have been in the ministry for over 30 years and I have seen many ministerial leaders experience adultery and divorce on so many different levels.  Now that I am in the counseling ministry, I have seen the same is true for leaders in all walks of life.  I have begun paying attention to some of the problems that seem to be prevalent in these marriages.  No matter how good a leader a person is does not exempt him from problems in his life and his marriage.

Problem #1:  Most leaders are task oriented people.  They are Type A personalities or if you prefer, they are D on the DISC model.  What that means is that they are driven and they over look people because of the task at hand.  When a person is totally focused on the tasks at hand as well as thinking about the production associated with the task, he totally forgets about the people involved in the process.  Or he thinks about what the others can do for him.  Again, this leader tends to look at other people as assets or maybe liabilities and not necessarily as people.

Obviously this mindset is not conducive to a good marriage.  The wife begins to feel nothing more than an employee at best.  She does not feel like a life partner; rather she feels used and many times abused by this type of husband.

Problem #2:  Most leaders are strong decision makers.  In business it is imperative that the leader is able to make good, quick decisions without a great deal of hesitation.  Many times the leader does not even listen to the advise of his advisors as he believes he knows what is best for the moment.

Again, I believe you can understand why this mindset does not work in marriage very often.  The wife feels she has much to offer to the relationship and to the plans for the relationship.  If she is never talked to nor listened to, then she will begin to feel unimportant and insecure.

Problem #3:  Most leaders are workaholics.  Leaders tend to spend most of their time “running” their businesses.  They wake up early and go to bed late.  They even eat at the office or on the road.  They feel that they just cannot spare even 30 minutes of their day to spend with their wife in such a mundane event as eating.

This mindset also is not beneficial to a good marriage.  The relationship needs to be fostered and cared for.  A person cannot expect to have a good marriage if there is not time spent nurturing the emotional connection that is needed for the marriage to flourish.

Let’s look briefly at how what the Bible says about marriage.  

Ephesians 5:25-30 (NASB95)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;

29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,

30 because we are members of His body.

There are several important lessons a leader can learn from this passage of scripture concerning his marriage.  I will just point out a couple of these lessons.

Lesson #1:  A leader must love his wife sacrificially.  When you think about Christ’s love for the church, the first thing that should come to mind is the fact that he died on the cross to save His bride.  He was not selfish in any way.  His love for his bride transcended her faults and her inadequacies and He showed His love through the crossFeet Washing

Another way Christ showed His love was through serving His disciples.  The most poignant example of this is when He washed the disciples feet.  I wonder how the wife of a leader would feel if he humbled himself to the point of meeting such a basic need?

Lesson #2:  A leader must nurture and cherish his wife.  These two words speak specifically to fostering the relationship.  In order to foster the relationship, time must be spent listening to and caring for your wife.  

Again, Jesus spent time with His disciples.  He ate meals with them and invited them into His life.  Jesus shared with His disciples many of His plans.  Jesus’ disciples were shown that they were important to Him and never a burden to Him.  Not one time did Jesus make the disciples feel less than because of the mistakes they made.  He would lovingly correct them as needed, but He always let them know theta they were loved and needed.

I understand that husbands (leaders) are being compared to the Perfect Son of God.  I also realize that no one else has ever lived up to His perfection.  Yet, this passage of scripture tells us to use Him as our example.  Many of us have to learn to put aside our decision making skills, our plans, and our drive so that we can listen, learn and love our wives.  I promise when we learn to do these things, our marriage will flourish!!

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