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The Benefits of Cooking Together

September 3, 2014 By bwatson Leave a Comment

Over the past several months my wife and I have been cooking almost every meal at home.  Some nights when I am home, I help her do the cooking.  I call herCooking the Queen of the Kitchen and I am her serf.  I usually follow her instructions to make sure the cooking is done properly.  I have learned how to cook some things, but mostly I just help.  On some nights, I do the majority of the cooking but usually items that she has taught me how to cook.  I have never ventured out on my own in the kitchen.

What are the benefits of cooking meals together?  

  • Spending time together.  Many couples complain of not ever having time together.  Cooking each evening allows you to be together as well accomplishes a daily task.  Each person has their own role in completing the meal, whether it is preparing, cooking, or cleaning afterwards.  Supper becomes a joint effort and no one feels that they are all alone in this task.
  • Spending less money on meals.  Over the years, we have been guilty of eating out quite a lot.  No one dollar signreally knows how much money we have spent eating at different establishments.  Since January, we have been cooking at home and our budget has appreciated it.
  • Eating healthier.  Today, we hear so much about being healthy…cutting out fried foods and processed foods…eating less sugar…eating more vegetables, etc.  When we cook at home, we can control what we are eating and how much we eat.  (Personally, the food tastes so much better when cooked at home.)
  • Losing Weight.  Since we have been eating at home and not out all the time, my wife and I have lost about sixty pounds together.  It has been fabulous.

Now many of you might already cook at home all the time, but when both spouses work outside of the home it is difficult.  Some nights I work until 7 or even 8.  Before, most of those nights I would stop on the way home and get something out.  Now, my wife either has the meals cooked or I help her when I get home.  Let me challenge you to work on this as a couple.  We all need to spend more time together.  We probably all could save some money.  And we need to be healthy.  Here are just a couple of suggestions of how to get started.

  1. Make a menu for the week.  We make our menus on Friday night.  We have a list of suggestions compiled if we ever get stuck.  When you do this together, no one feels that he/she has all the responsibilities of the meals.
  2. Make a grocery list off of the menu.  Again, we do this on Friday night.  My wife knows the ingredients of the dishes that we are cooking for the week.  I help with the items that we need for lunches and breakfasts.  This list helps us stay on track when we go to the store.
  3. Post  the menu where everyone can see it.  If you have children at home, let them help in the process and see the menu.  If the menu is visible and you stick to it, you remove the question “what’s for dinner?”.
  4. Have fun.  Making menus, grocery lists, grocery shopping, and cooking are all chores.  I do not know many people who like to do chores.  Try to create a fun environment around these activities.

Meal times are important.  The preparation time can be just as important.  Work toward using this time for relationship building.

What do you do with the preparation time of supper to build your relationship?

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Bradley D. Watson, BCBT
Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Helping Others Using God’s Principles

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Financial Security for your Wife

October 11, 2012 By bwatson Leave a Comment

Have you ever noticed how many arguments take place in marriage that deal with finances? These arguments might happen on pay days or when bills are paid or maybe at the most inopportune times. These arguments are started because there is not enough money for things that we think we need or maybe because there is not enough money even to pay the bills. Money is a major contributor to conflict in today’s marriages. How can we prevent these arguments from taking place? How do we function as a couple or a family in light of all the financial needs and problems that arise?
Part of the security needs of a woman is in the financial area of her life. Many women like money…they like to spend money…they like nice things…they feel safe when there is money in the bank. Women’s level of security or insecurity can be found in how much money they have or don’t have. (Again, I am speaking in generalities. Not all women are the same.) Men, where is your wife in the money issue? Does she seem to spend money regardless of what else is happening? Does she get angry because there is not any money for her to spend? Is she upset because there is no money in savings or that you are in major debt? All of these questions can describe a single woman. Maybe your wife is not that complex and only one of the questions relate to her. I also realize that there might be more questions to ask for each wife.
So what can we do? I do not know where you are financially. I know where I am. I started a new ministry a couple years ago after being in a full-time associate pastorate for a large church. My salary was cut by about 66%. I am not complaining. I am just stating a fact. I also know how much fear was associated with my changing ministries, not only for me but also my wife, Lisa. I know what our conversations were all about and even the few arguments that ensued. Don’t worry, I’m not going to air my personal life with everyone. I just know that the past couple of years has been a trial for Lisa and me as we have had to really watch some things about our spending that we had become accustomed to not worrying about previously.
So here are some things that are needed to help your wife feel secure with you financially.
1. Pray about your finances together. Men, we need to be praying with our wives daily. Part of our prayers need to be for God’s provision in our lives. When our wives hear us pray specifically for certain things financially, they know that we are truly trusting God for those specifics.
2. Talk about your finances together. l know many women who are actually better at keeping a checkbook than men. I know women who like numbers and can crunch them very well because they are proned to be detail oriented. We need to include our wives in the financial process of our homes.
3. Budget. I know that this is an ugly word with many people. I also know that using a budget can feel like a chore for people. But, I also know that using a budget helps you keep a record of all of your spending and allows you to be able to use your money appropriately.
4. Tithe. Yes, this could have been the first statement on this list. Yes, I am a Baptist preacher who believes that everyone will have financial problems if they do not tithe. I believe that tithing is very important in our relationship with God as well as our spouse. This principle needs to become a priority for you as a couple to work toward creating the security your wife so needs.
These statements are just a couple of items that will help you create a secure financial environment for your wife as well as for you. I could suggest several more items that would go along with many of the Christian financial teachers that are popular today. I truly hope that you find these suggestions helpful in your marriage.

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I provide Biblical Counseling for:
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