3 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband

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How many people remember Rodney Dangerfield? His famous line was “I don’t get no respect.” Many men feel just as Mr. Dangerfield said that he did. I have heard that in my office on many occasions. Even recently as a wife was telling me how she was all alone and that she had to face parenting, working, and other issues in her life by herself, her husband just asked the question “Where am I in this equation? Am I even in the top ten things you think about?” What I heard him say, “I don’t feel respected by you at all.”

Respect is the need of a man in a relationship. Men get respect in what they accomplish and then in their relationships. Many men do not accomplish what they think they should have in their jobs and feel like they are stuck in life, so what do they do? They look for adventure. Most of the time in the wrong places.

Wives, you play an important part in the life of your husband. God tells you to respect you husband. Not everyone deserves the respect which I address in 5 Ways to Earn Respect in Your Marriage. In our relationship, we are to treat our spouse as unto Christ (Eph. 5:21). We love or respect because of what God tells us to do, not necessarily because the other person deserves it.

So how can you show respect to your husband?

  1. Verbally: Your words are conveyors of how you truly feel; therefore, when you speak you are sharing what is on the inside of you.
    • Directly to your husband. Nagging and complaining to your husband about his deficiencies and his mistakes inform him that you do not respect him. After a while of only hearing negative words from his wife, the man will eventually find someone that will say something positive about him.
    • To your friends: I asked a lady in a church that I served several years ago why she didn’t attend any of the Women’s Ministry events. She told me that she was not going anywhere that the women bashed their husbands. It was not a positive influence on her marriage. Talking about your husband negatively in public will disrespect him because what is said about him usually gets back to him.
    • Let me encourage you to think of things that you can respect your husband for. Does he go to work faithfully? Is he home when he says he will be? Does he take care of the children? Let him know how you respect him. He probably knows why you don’t respect him.
  2. Actually: What can you can do to show respect to your husband? The Bible informs couples that the husband is the head of the wife. He is to be the leader in the home. Many men are not good spiritual leaders, yet that is still their role. If a wife usurps that leadership, the husband feels disrespected.
  3. Sexually: The sexual relationship between a husband and wife is one of the greatest areas a man feels the most respected. He desires to know that he is “enough” for his wife and that she is satisfied with him.
    • Respond to his advances. I don’t believe that the wife has to say “yes” every time her husband wants to have sex. There are many factors involved in that, but she needs to respond positively to him. She doesn’t need to just say yes out of obligation but rather because she wants to. Be an active participant with your husband, not a passive one. He feels more respected the more you participate.
    • Make Advances. This statement immediately creates questions for many women. Their sex drive is not as strong as their husbands. They might want sex, but are uncomfortable asking or initiating. It is their nature to respond but not initiate. This initiation is not to be all the time, but there are times that your husband needs to feel respected and you initiating sex would help build his respect levels.

The Importance of Respect to Your Husband

Your husband’s number one need in his life is to feel respected. The command that a wife is given by God is to respect her husband. These three areas of life will help you give your husband the respect that he needs.

How are you doing at respecting your husband? What are some ways that you show your husband respect that will add to this? I would love to read your responses.

A Woman’s Greatest Need in Marriage

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#FlashbackFriday Originally posted October 9, 2012.

Loving Your WifeMen, have you ever thought about what you wife’s greatest need is in a relationship with you? I would like to know how she would answer you. I wonder if she would mention that she needs to be listened to more and understood better. Maybe she would point out that she desires more attention to what she is doing that cannot be interrupted. I wonder if she might tell you that she really would like for you to care about what she cares about more. I’m not sure what she might say, but I have heard so many different answers; yet at the same time most of the answers are very similar. So let me share with you what I believe is the answer that we need to focus on.

Before I give you the one word answer, I want to show you how we get to that answer.

The Bible uses four primary words in Ephesians 5 and I Peter 3 telling husbands how to treat their wives. The first of those words is Love.

Ephesians 5:25 (NASB)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

The word that is used in this verse translated “Love” is the word that describes God’s love. This means that the love is to seek the best in the recipient of the love and is also seen as being sacrificial and unconditional in how it is presented. So I want you to think for a moment about how you love your wife. Do you seek the best in your wife? Are you sacrificial in your love? Is your love unconditional or do you expect your wife to earn or maintain your love?

The second word that is used in Ephesian 5 is Nourish.

Ephesians 5:28-29 (NASB) nourish
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,

The word for nourish deals with feeding to bring to maturity. This word primarily used describing the parent relationship with their child, but here it is suggesting that the husband is to provide for and protect his wife. When we nourish our wives, they will flourish in all they do. I ask husbands if their wives are better off because they are married to them.   If not, then how can the husband improve on that aspect of the relationship.

The third word is Cherish. This word means to warm and foster with tender care. The only other place this word is used in all of scripture is in I Thes. 2:7 where Paul is talking about a mother nursing her baby. How does that baby feel in his momma’s arms? How is that momma looking at her child? I realize that the relationship between a momma nursing her child is unique. I believe that our wives need to feel that they are special to us and that they are treated with tender compassion. I won’t ask a question here; I’ll just make a statement concerning the need that is addressed here. When we yell at our wives, they will not feel cherished. They need us to be gentle with them.

The final word is the word that we looked at yesterday and that is Understanding. I will not go into more detail on that principle but if you have not read yesterday’s post, look down the page and find Understanding Your Wife.

Now that you have all four words – Love, Nourish, Cherish, and Understand – let me give you the one word answer to the original question. SECURITY!!

There are several aspects of security in your relationship with your wife. I just want to mention different areas of security that your wife needs. At a later date, I will address them at length.

  • Physical Security
  • Financial Security
  • Emotional Security
  • Sexual Security
  • Spiritual Security

Now, gentlemen, how are you doing in the area of providing security for your wife? If we want our wives to be happy and fulfilled in our marriages, their need of security has to be met!

Brad 2014

Bradley D. Watson, BCBT
Directed Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.  The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Develop The Life and Marriage You Desire

Purpose Statement

I provide Biblical Counseling for:
  • People who are hurting in their marriages and families.
  • People who are hurting emotionally and spiritually.
  • People who are seeking freedom from the bondage in their lives.

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5411 PLAZA DR STE G
TEXARKANA, TX 75503
PHONE: (903) 244-5150


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